Maybe it’d be nice if they chased you sometimes? One of the central themes of the Couples Workshop by Michael Grinder is the concept of balancing the relationship. A way to understand how you and your partner interact with each other is to transfer your knowledge of household pets to your relationship. A dog comes when it is called, a cat tends to respond only if accompanied with the sound of a kitchen can opener.
Within romantic relationships, seeking and chasing is a natural phenomenon. The couple has to be careful that the cat doesn’t control the relationship inappropriately; a healthy relationship is when the members take turns seeking and chasing. The benefit of applying our common understanding of cats and dogs to people is that we become more realistic and respectful in our expectations of ourselves and others. By increasing our understanding, we build a better foundation of communication.
In the video above, we first demonstrate the imbalance between the two styles, where the dog continually pursues the cat. Then we show a much better approach, where the dog can increase the balance with some simple adjustments.
Want more? Attend “To Love, to Honor, and to Negotiate” our Couples Workshop.