How Not to Get Shot

Creating a Culture of Influence

The Course

One of the most common situations we all find ourselves in is having to deliver news that is other than positive. At best, it is precarious to be the bearer of such tidings.

The danger involved is legendary. In his play Oedipus Rex, Sophocles says, "Nobody likes the man who brings bad news."

It is purported that the Romans, upon hearing the bad news, took their frustrations out on the messenger by killing the person. Hence the phrase, "Don't kill the messenger."


As messengers, how do we convey factual information that is often interpreted as negative by others without our becoming associated, in their minds, with their reactions to the message? You'll want to attend this workshop to learn the best methods to achieve this.


Eight components make up this exciting seminar. They will be taught separately and then interwoven to collectively create the fabric of How Not To Get Shot!

The How Not… material comes from a bold vision created by Harvard University's Fisher and Ury. In their work, most notably Getting to Yes, they created the macro goal of preserving the relationship while dealing with tough issues. Hot Not To Get Shot! is the micro level of Fisher and Ury's macro level.

Course Information

  • The Goal

    Learn the techniques that will help preserve rapport even when you have to deliver bad news.

  • The Method

    • This is a 2-5 day course
    • 1/3 presentation, 1/3 demonstration and 1/3 roleplay
  • The Results

    Ultimately, our goal is to preserve the relationship while delivering the news.

    • Learn the 8 elements that will help separate you as a person from your message.
    • Understand the important role that eye-contact plays in communication.
    • Know when you’re in your person (using influence) and in your position (using power).
    • Learn how to use your voice patterns systematically and effectively.
    • Employ 2-point and 3-point communication in volatile situations.

What Others Are Saying

  • “I had the honor to organize Michael Grinder three times. His type of intercession is embossed from his vision to use the possibilities of nonverbal communication. The balance of sternness and humor, from conviction and playful trying out, of charisma and admitting his own humanity turns him into a teacher, from whom I have liked to learn.

    And the profit of the application speaks in behalf of itself. Alleged small things lead to big changes in group-dynamics and in interactions. Using his ideas and observations make things much easier, so I as a trainer and coach can recommend his trainings warmly.”

    – Nikolai Hotzan, German sponsor

  • “Michael Grinder´s presentation: ‘Communication, Presence and Charisma’ at the V NLP Latin American Congress in Brazil, last year, was rated excellent by 98% of the participants. People were impressed with his outstanding ability on non-verbal communication.

    – Jairo Mancilha M.D. Ph.D. Director of INAp – Applied NLP Institute in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

  • “Michael’s training was a journey to the heart of communication. It peeled back the layers of communication to reveal the subtle patterns that enable you to influence and lead. So many of my team described this as the best training they have attended.”

    – Robert Smith, Head of HR Consultancy, Human Resources, Office of Communication, UK Government