Knowing What You See – 3 ways to refine your perception. Michael Grinder’s interview on Beyond Lip Service on Blog Talk Radio

What a great interview today on Beyond Lip Service with Sharon Sayler.

If you haven’t had a chance to listen to it you are really missing something. We discussed:

1. What is perception and when we can trust our instincts?
2. How to improve our perceptions
3. How to interpret our perceptions

and the 4 levels of perception; each has a unique outcome or purpose for observing.

Learn more about my two upcoming classes that just might be the ticket to improving your communication and perception.

There’s a very good reason why people don’t listen to you,
Why you can’t seem to effectively lead others no matter how hard you try…

Here Is How Non-Verbal Communication Works For Thousands of Managers,
Sales People, and Business Professionals

Here is the blunt truth about effective communication, and one remarkable,
seminar series that will actually turn you into a master persuader.

By Charles Damerell

There is a complete approach to effective communication that really works. That’s why I am so deeply concerned when I see people who honestly want to lead a successful team of colleagues, be more charismatic and persuasive, but are then bitterly disappointed by their total lack of results….

Half-truths and misinformation are everywhere. I want to clear up the ambiguity once and for all and present the hard facts about effective communication that will make you more charismatic, effective, and admired …!

If you’ve tried to be a leader among your colleagues and have still been unable to gain their respect, it’s probably NOT YOUR FAULT. In fact, there are several very real reasons why this has happened to you – why speeches and pep talks have been doomed to failure right from the start.

I promise you, YOU CAN BE THE EFFECTIVE, ADMIRED LEADER YOU WANT TO BE, almost immediately, and with dramatic improvement in your workplace, without manipulation, bullying, painful disagreements, and frustration.

What I see in the reasons why leaders and managers fail to be effective communicators can be grouped into three categories:

One: The Intimidating And The Steel-Fisted.

Many team leaders and managers adopt the philosophy of “Do it my way, or you’re fired.” This strong-arm way of managing people may temporarily get them to do what you want, but you destroy morale and damage productivity (and often people walk out) – because nobody likes to work in an intimidating environment.

And many of them may actually seek to sabotage your success if you push them too hard, because they can develop an intense dislike for you and work towards your personal failure.

Two: The Weak and Non-Confrontational.

Managers that let their colleagues walk all over them, intimidate them, ignore instruction, cause dissent and apathy in the office, and generally do whatever they want, simply are not effective leaders because they allow a culture of laziness and disrespect to infect everyone else, dragging the whole business down. They are NOT true leaders.

Three: The Completely Invisible.

Look, we would all like to wave a magic wand and wish all the office problems away, while we melt into the safety of our private offices, and still reap all the rewards, praise and accolades of an efficient and profitable department without conflict.

Unfortunately, effective leaders and managers can’t hide and “hope it all goes away.” But there’s an even bigger problem than trying to be invisible, and that’s thinking that you are saying one thing to people… when in fact you’re saying something completely different.

Which has more power in communication?
— Your words or your eyes?

Listen, the words you choose to use matter. They convey information in a way that people can then make a decision on what to do next. What most people don’t realize however is that where you look while delivering the information speaks volumes to your listener. Most people have no idea that they are actually “misusing” their eyes when they communicate, causing a completely different message to be “heard” by their listeners.

Are You Ready For Simple, Highly-Effective, Communication Techniques That Really Work, Based On A Sound Behavioural Model?

PICTURE YOURSELF – enjoying the satisfaction of having your colleagues listen to and follow your every word…. the same people who would have ignored you if you screamed “Fire!” The same people who, privately, think you’re a “weak leader” with “no vision”. Now they see a new, confident, charismatic you, who commands respect and attention, and they are amazed and maybe even jealous.

IMAGINE YOURSELF actually eager to enter the boardroom to deliver a major presentation or confidently meet with your most important client or lead your team to new heights in productivity. IMAGINE yourself commanding the attention of a rapt audience and drinking in the praise and recognition you receive! THE PERSUASIVE CHARISMA THAT HAS ELUDED YOU IN THE PAST CAN FINALLY BE “REAL” FOR YOU.

3 Myths That Sabotage Good Communication

Myth #1: Communication Is A One-Way Street

First, simply “lecturing” people without “listening” to their reactions cannot work for you, because people are always communicating with you, giving you feedback, whether they are speaking or not. The only way to truly understand people and effectively persuade them is to learn to recognize the subtle non-verbal communication that’s taking place.

Myth #2: The Message You Send Is The Message Received

Second, just because you think you’re saying something doesn’t mean that’s what people are hearing. Instead, you need to understand the secrets of delivering a perfect message every time by using verbal and non-verbal communication.

Myth #3: Real Meaning Is In The Words

Third, because the real meaning of what is being communicated is found in the tone, posture, gesture, gaze, and breathing, you could be completely misunderstanding what people are actually saying, while you are likely being misunderstood. But the good news is we have a system to quickly help you with all three of these “communication saboteurs”. And More!

Have you ever wondered, as I have, why some work colleagues get promoted over others, or why their ideas are more readily accepted, even when we may have voiced the same idea in a meeting 15 minutes before they did?

So, how do these people get recognised so quickly and be taken so seriously? The answer is that these people have mastered non-verbal communications.

Claim Your Seat At These Rare Michael Grinder Live Programmes on Wednesday 18th and Thursday 19th February 2009

What happens next?  Simply use the link below to learn more about upcoming classes NVI 

international are offering go to

http://nviinternational.com/new-event-2/

Michael Grinder Presents -
Go Visual!: Non-Verbal INSTRUCTIONAL Techniques for Teachers

This training will focus on non-verbal forms of communication teachers can use to increase student retention.  School doesn’t need to be a private club for visual learners.  Let’s expand the membership!!

We know which students do well in school – the ones who arevisually-oriented.  Have you ever asked yourself, “What can we do about the students who are bright enough and yet still can’t do ‘school’?  This program is for you.  During the 3 classes we will reveal the cognitive secrets of the “better students.”  We will examine the non-verbals that allow more students to operate successfully in school.

Our topics will include:

• How the visual-oriented brain stores information compared to auditory and kinesthetic-oriented thinkers.
• How to design lessons to increase students’ success.
• Understanding the differences between daily work and tests; and how to prepare for a test.
• Effective use of non-verbals to increase long-term memory.
• The differences between long-term memory and the ability to pass a test.
• Examining your innate non-verbal style and knowing when to modify.
• How to recognize the differences between different learning styles.

Michael’s style is one that uses lots of group involvement, humor and energy.  Participants really appreciate the delivery as well as the take-home value of the content of his work.  An educator with 17 years of experience as a classroom instructor, Michael Grinder presents accelerated learning and group presentation skills workshops internationally.  He uses behavioral modeling techniques and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) in business settings and in schools.

This training is appropriate for teachers grades 2-12, including special education.

This class is being offered for free this year only. 
Sorry no clock hours or credit available this time.

Class dates:  April 13, 20, and 27, 2009   Times: 4-6:30 PM
Location: Marshall Elementary School (Media Center)
6400 MacArthur Blvd, Vancouver
To Register:  e-mail Krista Grinder

Download Flyer

This is a rare opportunity to spend a day with a pioneer of classroom management. Michael Grinder taught for 17 years on 3 levels of education. He was runner-up for Washington State Teacher of the year.  He has written over a dozen books based on his 6,000 classroom observations.

Michael is the leading advocate of increasing educators’ ability to recognize and respond to non-verbal patterns of communication. This is especially     important because increasingly, we find ourselves educating populations that come from a culture other than ours. You will leave with an increase in cross-cultural sensitivities. 

You will walk away with how to:

• Recognize the changes in our student population.
• Understand a parent conference; special attention will be given to a hostile parent conference.
• Use Michael’s most important discovery – not over-using eye contact.
• Identifying students, colleagues and people in your private world as to their degree of accommodation (dog-oriented) vs. independence (cat-oriented).
• Establish a working relationship with independent cats in your world.
• Handle situations where you feel stretched by an oblivious cat.
• Use Michael’s trilogy of classroom management:
• ENVoY
• A Healthy Classroom
• A Cat in the Dog House
• Increase your energy by decontaminating school and home life
• Identify your own tendencies as an educator; know when to be yourself and when to control your impulses.
• Identifying VAK (learning Styles)

Michael’s style is inspiring and humorous–your learning will be practical and long-lasting.

Date:
Saturday April 25th
8:30am – 3:30pm
(Authentic Mexican lunch available for purchase or encouraged to bring lunch)

Location:
Marshall Elementary/School Library
6400 MacArthur Blvd, Vancouver, WA

Cost:
$125.00 for registrations prior to March 15th  
After this date $150.00

WA Clock Hours or Chapman College Semester Credit available the day of class

Presented by: 
Krista Grinder & Associates
16621 259th Street,
Battle Ground, WA  98604 

and

A & J Educational and Professional Consulting, LLC

Registration / Information :
Gail Grinder at 360-687-3238, or  kristagrinder@msn.com

Download Flyer 

by Michael Grinder 

I often get asked about the qualities of an effective, charismatic leader. One important quality is the ability to be comfortable within one’s position – especially as it relates to the need to use power instead of influence. A person-in-charge’s comfort when managing directly affects the group’s ability to function. She manages in many directions such as upwards with bosses, downwards with subordinates, and sideways with colleagues. In addition, she often has different management styles based on the direction she is managing.

Her style needs to fit the culture of the group or organization. If the culture is "cat-oriented," she is expected to comply with the level above and to expect compliance from the level below. In a "dog-oriented" culture, she is expected to have fewer differences in how she interacts with people above and below her position.

The Key to Her Success

When she breathes low, it is a sign that she is comfortable with both the use of influence and power as it relates to management. It is wise for someone to pick a culture and a position inside that organization that matches their style of comfort.  In general, people want to work for someone who is comfortable buffering pressure from above, holding peers accountable, and supporting their handling of inappropriate subordinates.

To learn more about Being An Effective Charismatic Leader consider our upcoming Effective Charismatic Leadership Certification beginning in April 2009.

Michael Grinder here,

It’s pretty cold here in the Pacific Northwest. I’m hard at work on my latest book and thought since we can’t do much outside during this cold weather maybe it’s time to learn something new.

Now, I know not all of you are in the deep-freeze as we are here… but we have developed a great, new way to learn some of the latest work I’ve been developing.  Most of you know I’ve offered training materials for some time now.  Well, I just learned how to offer great downloadable events too, so now is your chance to learn something new too…

Today through the end of the year, we are trying something very different. We are offering our newest training "Building Charisma in the Work Place: Corporate Cats and Dogs" A Live Training from Essex, England as an online product. Online delivery via mp3 allows us to bring you this great training at a lower cost.

Seriously, I think it’s a pretty great idea.  At just $19.95 through December, (retail $24.95) you can give any manager or leader (including yourself) within your company (even works with members of your family) a complete audio recording of my 6-hour seminar that covers most of my entire book, "Charisma, The Art of Relationships." Plus I have added the complete pdf transcripts (over 80 pages) of the 6 hours of “Charisma in the Work Place.”

Here’s the special link to get your own:
http://www.michaelgrinder.com/corporate-cats-and-dogs-live-from-essex-england/

It’s the gift that will keep on giving all as you see your workplace transformed with the power of influence. Hope you Holiday plans are rolling along and getting ready for the new year too.

Talk soon,
Michael

p.s. This could be your best (and easiest) chance yet to transform your team and revitalize your leadership in the workplace – especially if you’re already too busy and have a limited budget.

Download this great cover article about the nonverbal work from a classroom management perspective from the National Staff Development Council (www.nsdc.org.) The original article was published in Professionally Speaking, a publication from the Ontario College of Teachers in Canada and written by Leanne Miller.

Download "Use more than words" article

OUr friends at GLD Associates in the  UK had this great article in their most recent newsletter. They have graciosuly allowed me to share with all of you.

How can he be so rude…?

Sarah was enjoying her new customer services role in the organisation where she’d worked for a number of years.  There was only one fly in the ointment and that was the fact that she couldn’t stand her new manager, Tony.  She considered him unbelievably rude and she was not alone – when she consulted her colleagues she discovered that they too found him ‘difficult’.

Things became so bad that HR had to become involved. However, although Tony accepted the evidence against him, he was baffled by it and therefore unable to change his ways.  HR were equally in a dilemma since Tony was a highly successful manager in that he delivered results consistently.

What was going on?

Apparently, for instance, during meetings Tony was in the habit of working at his laptop appearing to take no notice of the proceedings.   He would blank people in the corridor and, in the middle of discussions, he would cut people off in mid-flow and move the meeting on.  He would inform his staff of decisions that he’d made without consultation and seemed unsympathetic towards feedback.

There was no denying he got results but this seemed to be at the expense of staff morale.

What could be done?

We live in a blame culture but pointing fingers only makes matters worse.  Tony understood that his subordinates were unhappy but was baffled as to why given that the department was so successful.  His staff recognized and enjoyed the fact that their department was doing well but were resentful that Tony didn’t seem to appreciate their contribution towards that success.

In circumstances such as these the danger is that things can become personal.  However, when we apply Michael Grinder’s Cats and Dogs analogy to the situation we can see that this is simply a clash of behavioural styles.

Tony’s behaviour at work is ‘high Cat’ – his focus is on productivity, he enjoys making decisions and becomes frustrated when discussions go off-topic.  He does what needs to be done to achieve the targets and assumes that everyone else shares his motivation.

His staff on the other hand, being in Customer Services, are mostly ‘high Dog’.   They are concerned about morale and rapport as well as achieving results.   They enjoy gathering information and need to feel included.

The fact that Cats don’t do small talk and often fail to give sufficient acknowledgement to their Dogs is why Dogs consider the Cats are rude.   When Dogs recognize the positive intentions of the Cats and understand that it’s just about behavioural style, it is easier for them to avoid taking things personally.

When the Cats understand that even a small amount of acknowledgement will go a very long way they will gain far greater support from their Dogs.

If you’d like to discover more about how an understanding of ‘Cat and Dog’ behavioural styles can help you in your professional and personal worlds, then a great place to start is Michael Grinder’s book, "Charisma – The Art of Relationships." It also makes a great Christmas gift!  Click here for more information.

Until next time,
Graham Willson and Hazelann Lorkins
GLD Training Associates
 gldassociates.co.uk

 Excerpt of video interview of Michael Grinder from NLP4Now.

By Dr. Kendall Zoller

(A Commentary on Michael Grinder’s model)

This slide is from a keynote I delivered at the California Mathematics and Science Partnership Fall Conference in Sacramento. The keynote, Forging Partnerships: Tools for building collaborative groups, proposed to link the works of DuFour, Garmston and Wellman, Grinder, and Zoller & Landry to show the macro and micro models of school improvement. Specifically, the talk illustrated how the Professional Learning Community is a structure, Adaptive Schools is the ecology of community, and 7 Essential Abilities of Effective Presenters is the behavioral foundation grounded in the Pentimento model by Grinder.

The Professional Learning Community model proposed by Richard Dufour offers a “what” and “why” explanation for schools to become learning communities. His powerful model explains what a Professional Learning Community is and why you need it. However, the PLC macro-model does little to define or explain “how” to behaviorally establish and maintain a Professional Learning Community. It is a “macro” model because it provides the structural elements of a Professional Learning Community; it does not include the specific and essential behavioral elements—the “micro” components–of a highly functional Professional Learning Community.

Enacting a PLC is where the Adaptive Schools macro-model proposed by Garmston and Wellman comes in. On a macro-scale, Adaptive Schools (“AS”) is a large component of “how” to support and maintain a Professional Learning Community. In their book The Adaptive Schools (2008), they provide the “what,” “why,” and “how” of the behavioral and structural elements embedded in its framework. The structural elements include Ways of Talking, Norms of Collaboration, Group Member Capabilities, effective meeting structures, and facilitation moves. The behavioral elements of AS include voice, pause, and gesture, however these elements are not as fully developed as the Grinder Pentimento micro-model or the 7 Essential Abilities of Effective Presenters micro-model proposed by Zoller and Landry.

For a Professional Learning Community to be successful, it is essential for the Community to be proficient in the tools and strategies of the Adaptive Schools. By embracing the elements of the Adaptive School model, the PLC will engage in true dialogues and ensure that all voices are heard.

Taking this one step further, to be fully adept at Adaptive Schools it is essential to be proficient in the Pentimento or the 7 Essential Abilities of Effective Presenters.

The nonverbal patterns of communication provide structures that support congruence, establish and maintain credibility and rapport, and provide ways of recognizing and influencing group dynamics and group permission. The Grinder model is a ”micro” model that provides the how on a discrete behavioral level. Within the Grinder micro model there are descriptions and explanations of “what” and “why.”

The following explanation illustrates the importance and essential requirement of knowing the Grinder model. Assume a group member intellectually understands Inquiry, Probing, Paraphrasing, Naïve Questions Pausing, and Advocacy. In addition, assume that the group member does not have conscious awareness of non-verbal patterns: when they speak, they speak independent of knowing the “permission level” (degree of receptivity) of the group. If the permission level is high, then the group is receptive and the speaker is okay. If permission is low, then the group is not receptive and the speaker may get into trouble. Knowing the Grinder micro-level offers an advantage to implementing the Garmston/Wellman model.

Linking these three models together generates at least two assumptions and one implication:

1. Assumption: Implementing Dufour’s Professional Learning Community independent of Garmston and Wellman’s Adaptive Schools will produce a less effective Professional Learning Community

2. Assumption: Implementing Garmston and Wellman independent of Grinder’s Pentimento or Zoller and Landry’s 7 Essential Abilities of Effective Presenters may be functional; however, they will have a limited proactive and reactive capability.

3. Implication: By being conscious of the nonverbal models, any member, including the person-in-charge, can be proactive within each of the other two models and thus more effective.